It’s my birthday and I’ll play The Sims if I wan’t to.

11 Oct

Okay, today isn’t my birthday, it was on Tuesday.
My birthday was rough.

And sad.

It was rough and it was sad and all my plans fell through.

What is it about birthdays? Why do I find myself in my 30’s still waking up with the same sort of “It’s my birthday and I am special and the entire world is full of possibilities!” kind of hope I had when I was a kid? What do I think is going to happen?

Will the government go back to work?

More importantly, will my Facebook feed stop feeling like a war-zone of who is crazier than the other? Will they at least fact check before posting the crazy? I mean, that would make me very happy. That would be a nice present. Fact checking.


Will all the hungry be fed? Will world peace happen? Will everyone spontaneously start being nice to one another?

I don’t really know what it is I think is going to happen each year. I tell myself that my Facebook friends might say something because .. well. Facebook tells them to tell me Happy Birthday.

And my mom will remember – and the kidlet will tell me I am beautiful and will occasionally tell me Happy Birthday.

And my husband will give me that look.

That sad look that tells me he really wishes that things were different and that he could do something.

And all through the day and the following days, I will feel a mixture of guilt and gratefulness, a sort of rosary in my head to be grateful for what you have and that birthdays are not about fabulous dinners somewhere, presents or anything. That Birthdays are just a day like any other and…
Damn it, self. Be happy you woke up and are breathing and you have fantastic people who love you.
No one is better at being mean to me than me.

I am grateful.

But I am also sad.
I am trying really hard to just let myself feel what I feel without demeaning it or rationalizing it until I don’t know what I feel anymore.

But then something kind of funny but also kind of something happened.

so its Friday. And I think to myself – “Self, its Friday. The internet is being cranky, so lets half watch some Torchwood and fire up the Sims3  and zone out for a bit because we earned it this week.”

Oh! My sim is having a birthday – lets throw her a party.

And she goes to blow out the candles…. and just as I am sitting here thinking – Woah – even that Sim in there is having a party that everyone in town came to and they are all throwing a great ruckus at her as she bends over to blow out her candles……. Wait.. why are they screaming?


Yes – That is her birthday cake on FIRE, and the FIRE has spread to her dining room table.

And now no one gets any cake.

Luckily no one was hurt, but there should be some sort of counseling I think….

No ckae for joo!

The table appears to be unscathed too….

And then the firefighters not only came and yelled at her, but then LAUGHED!

And then the firefighters not only came and yelled at her, but then LAUGHED!

I’m not sure what I think right now- I guess maybe that was the universes way of saying.. If Saiyge doesn’t get birthday cake, NO ONE gets birthday cake.

(I hope not though – because everyone should have cake.)


Posted by on October 11, 2013 in Uncategorized


Tags: , ,

6 responses to “It’s my birthday and I’ll play The Sims if I wan’t to.

  1. Renee

    October 12, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    I am terribly sorry that you had a bad real birthday AND a bad virtual birthday. That seems like a little much. My birthday is coming up, and while it probably won’t be anything special, I do hope nothing catches on fire.

    • saiyge

      October 14, 2013 at 8:52 am

      I hope nothing catches on fire for your birthday either!

  2. Darcy Perdu So-Then Stories

    October 21, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    Sorry your birthday wasn’t terrific but I appreciate the gratitude you feel that you have people who love you in your life, so that is cool! And the Sims birthday cake catching fire — well that was pretty funny! Gotta laugh at that! :o)

    • saiyge

      October 21, 2013 at 9:43 pm

      Oh absolutely. I certainly appreciated the irony in a sulky kind of way. I am really actually very lucky with the people I have in my life, I always worry that I won’t appreciate them enough if I’m whining that I’m bummed out for silly reasons.

  3. Kelly Fox

    October 21, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    I get it, and I’m sorry. I just had my birthday too. While my husband and friends were wonderful (and I am grateful for that and many things), I couldn’t help but feel a little sad that a higher percentage of my providers (dentist, doctor, insurance agent, etc.) sent me birthday wishes than my siblings.

    • saiyge

      October 21, 2013 at 9:45 pm

      Booze laden cakes and hugs to both of us then! ^^ Happy belated ❤
      My brother sent me a text after midnight, and then never replied when I replied to him. Eesh!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: