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That one time, where we went to Maine…

06 Sep

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What can I tell you about Maine?

90% of the bits we drove through- it is like driving into a postcard that was never told that it needed borders or an end. It is lovely here.  I am sitting in one of the most Northeasterly parts of Maine, almost entirely off the grid… if I walk a little to the left, I will be in range of a hotspot, but even that hotspot has a real problem grabbing onto a signal and it is sporadic at best.

Tomorrow our week here will end and I will face a grueling trek back down the coast, but by Sunday I should be  back in my own bed, with my own shower, with water pressure and best of all – a steaming cup of coffee of my favorite brand instead of the tea we are drinking now.

I think I could live here, if work were not an option and if I were not afraid of the long lonely roads that span the distance from neighbor to neighbor, and town to town………

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And then. If you know me at all, you know something happened; because I am no longer in Maine, I am sitting at my desk at home finishing this.

What happened you ask? Well, a spider like being fell from the trees above and I kid you not – landed right in my shirt – dead center in my bra.

I am terrified of spiders, especially large fuzzy black spiders with big legs and bodies and who are fully into being you know – spiders.

Needless to say, I jumped up,  yowling girlishly and ruffled my shirt and bra to get said visitor out of there.

I’m sorry, but there was no recovery of conscious thought after that. This blog post just wasn’t going to happen.

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The ride home was horrible. It was long and scary and long. Scary because I don’t handle traffic very well. I don’t handle anything about being on the highway well. I don’t like mergers, I don’t like tail gaiters, I don’t like offensive and aggressive drivers. I don’t like traffic, I don’t like speeding, I don’t like people being in my personal car space – I want two lengths on ALL sides please.

I don’t like jersey barriers, I don’t like multi- lane highways. I don’t .. like.. being in a car. At all. To me- being in the car feels like I am on a roller coaster I cannot leave, only it is worse, because I am on a multi-track roller coaster that has crazy bumper cars coming into my personal space along with the adrenaline infused powerlessness I feel.

I was in a pretty bad car accident as a passenger when I was 19. That alone wouldn’t have been so bad if I did not wind up in a few fender benders (minor yes) in the months that followed, or if I had learned how to drive prior to all of that.

I suppose I should tell you that I also don’t like being on dark water, I don’t think I’ll ever go onto a cruise ship, and I’m also terrified of flying.

I am NOT afraid of riding horses, and I am not afraid of riding an ATV. I crashed and burned quite a few times on a trike as a kid, and I’ve never been afraid to get right back on one and to get muddier than the boys. I think it is probably because I knew how to drive THOSE at least.

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But this wasn’t supposed to be a post about what I  am afraid of, or not afraid of. It was supposed to be a post FROM Maine while I was there, telling you how incredibly beautiful and quiet it was. I was supposed to rehash details about all the food I had nothing to do with cooking. I was supposed to be telling you about how awesome kayaking is and how badly I became addicted to it.

Yep. about all those things…. and all of it getting terribly derailed by a large, fuzzy and muscular spider hopping into my bra.

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2 Comments

Posted by on September 6, 2013 in Not Food, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , ,

2 responses to “That one time, where we went to Maine…

  1. K Cook (@kcook)

    September 7, 2013 at 7:25 am

    This post was awesome. I particularly loved the way it began, with descriptions like poetry… and ended with a muscular spider in your bra 😀

     
    • saiyge

      September 7, 2013 at 3:37 pm

      I hear tell that people with arachnophobia often see spiders much larger than they actually are. I don’t care though. That sucker was HUGE.

       

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